Friends,
This is a reminder of sorts. A reminder that we need to hear from time to time. I think that time is now, and I hope you find it useful.
Being at the Divine Services brings us to God’s House and is a key component of living an Orthodox life. St. Paul is clear that in God’s House everything needs to be done decently and in order. That is not really up for debate – he does not say “if you can” or “if it works for you” or “if it is convenient”. But he also does not say “instantaneously”.
Let all things be done decently and in order. (I Corinthians 14:40)
We have lots of folks coming to church now who do not have a lot of experience with church. So they might not do the expected thing at the expected time. We have worked very hard at STV to retire our team of tactical babuskhas, who in other parishes often enforce the “rules” as they misunderstand them, and mostly drive new people away rather efficiently.
So who drops the hammer on the new people when they step out of line!? Hammers need not be dropped. And should not be. And must not be. We have always had a very high tolerance for those who are coming to church and learning at STV. And this will not change. But those who are a bit ahead of the new folks are often tempted to teach. Co-suffering love for our fellow man can be quickly lost if we fall to a disordered zeal for correctness. And everything in the Christian life must be done with love. If we cannot do something with love we can know that it is not blessed, and having those around us assume that we are ignorant is much better than speaking without love and removing all doubt in their minds in this regard.
Teaching in church is essentially reserved for the priests and bishops on one hand, who have been given a special Grace at ordination for this obedience, and the Starosta (and his helpers) on the other hand, who has been elected by the parish family to ensure good order in the parish church. This has always been the practice of the Church. We will not change that in our church. If you are tempted to teach someone – stop. Work on yourself and your family. The better Orthodox Christian you become the better example you will be for others, and you will teach best by your example. If you are concerned that someone is doing something inappropriate - tell a priest. Most of the time you will find that the person you are policing already has a blessing to deviate from the norm. Always consider this first: “probably people do not come to church to misbehave – if this person is doing something outside the norm perhaps they have already talked to a priest about this”? Be at peace – leave the teaching to the priests and those appointed to teach.
Everything must be done with a blessing in the church, and certainly taking on the very heavy spiritual burden of teaching, for which you will answer to God, must be done with a blessing if there is the slightest hope that good will come from this. Otherwise, if you do not have a blessing, do not teach. To put a fine point on it: you will answer to God for the souls you drive away from Him. It is better to pray for those who are struggling. God’s ability to correct others in the way that He sees best is exponentially most powerful and useful than anything else that any of us can muster – especially if we are acting out of self-will (without a blessing).
If someone asks you a question you are allowed to answer, of course. If you know – answer as you know. If you don’t – say that you will ask a priest and find out. But if someone DOES NOT ASK – this is completely different. People do not take kindly to being randomly corrected, either in church or on the street. Our calling is to attract people to Christ by having the Love of Christ abiding in our hearts. This is where we should focus our efforts. Not on nitpicking others who have not asked to be corrected.
Our Christian struggle is a long war – it is not one battle. Many battles make up a war. A wise general fights the battles he can win and retreats from those that will just cause destruction of his troops and resources. “Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16) is a good watchword for us in this regard. Everything being done decently and order is a war-level goal. A process. Not an instant expectation when someone first walks in the door - or is learning. Some folks learn more slowly than others, and this is good to keep in mind too. Perhaps a nice conversation after the service would be appropriate – if the person is interested. But correcting people in real time without being invited to do so: this is not blessed. Please see me with questions.
Asking Your Prayers,
Fr. Gregory
P.S. I just listened to the sermon from yesterday. WOW – that was really noisy! I know I had to shout a bit. I didn’t notice until now how much. That simply cannot be the case when the bishop comes in a few weeks. It should NEVER be the case, but it surely cannot be the case when the bishop visits. I understand – kids will make some noises. But I’m pretty sure there were adult conversations going on for the entirety of the sermon. I get it – my sermons do not convey a lot of value. But as a parish family we cannot be so rude – either to guests or to our own priests. We have to at least pretend we are interested! Again – not kids: ADULTS. Let’s try to work on that before the bishop comes, or we might have to bring back that babushka tactical team. And nobody wants that! :) Just as there is no blessing to hunt down those who are not behaving according to our standards, there is also no blessing to talk during the sermon. If the conversation cannot wait, please step out behind the glass doors. Which are not sound-proof by the way. But that is a note for another day...
